Posted by Domestic abuse or domestic violence or family violence is a violence or abuse by one person to another within a home or in a relationship.
As a Nigerian, I grew up to witness a lot... When I say a lot, I mean lots and lots of domestic abuses. Either a woman is maltreating her domestic help (a story for another day) or a husband is hitting his wife or abusing her verbally or in-laws are beating up their daughter in-law or abusing her verbally or vice versa.
I am not here to talk about the domestic violence on men. I know it happens but its rare. The last time I witness domestic violence on a man was over seven years ago. Well, I didn't actually see the woman beating the man but I overheard the man screaming:
Unknown man: Pastor Oh! Come O! My wife is beating me again. She's beating me.
At that point, it was funny. How can a man allow a woman to beat him up. And in our world over here, we see those kind of men as weaklings. However, that was the first and last time I witness/heard such. But I can't count the number of times I've witness and heard women crying over the abuses they've gotten and are still getting from their so-called men.
I know there are many reasons why many women end up in domestic violence. I might address that in my tomorrow's article.
During my youth service year in 2014, I visited a friend at Ikot Nsa by Four Miles in Calabar, I stayed with her for two weeks and during my stay there, I witnessed a man brutally beating up his wife - the mother of his three kids - to a point he stripped her naked in front of every one there simply because of N100 meat. Poverty indeed is a bastard! And when narrating the story to my friend, who wasn't around when the incident happened, she told me that wasn't the first time the silly man had embarrassed his wife in the public but I guess that was the last time. She left him immediately after the fight because according to the abused woman, it's a big crime against their custom for a man to strip his wife naked in public. At least, she was lucky to still be alive today.
Well, don't come over here and tell me poor men are the only ones hitting their women. Nah! I have seen mega rich guys bad mouthing their women in public, reducing the worth of their women to zero. I've seen a rich man who used a belt to flog his wife mercilessly that when she forwarded the pictures of her injured body to my mum via Whatsapp, and at the same time was calling and crying on the phone, my sisters and I cried along with her.
Some women ends in hospitals after receiving heavy beatings from their abusers they call husbands or lovers. And many of these women are just afraid to talk or move out. But let me tell you something, if you as a woman is raising in child in a toxic-abusive environment, then know that there's a 95 percent of chance that such child will become an abuser in the future. Don't forget this!
Most men are abusers today because they witness their fathers abusing their mums. And since the society is quiet about it, they grew up to see it as a norm. Bring a man whose father never abused his mum in one way or the other and also bring another whose father endlessly abused the mum, lock them up with their women in a room, you'll see a big difference.
Why writing this?
This morning what woke me up from my beautiful sleep was the shout of a women been beaten by her husband. Gosh! This is a man that doesn't bring money for food, he doesn't pay the children's school fees, house rent. In fact, he ain't loyal in bills but can womaniser in Africa. And at the end of the day, he beats up his wife at every slightest provocation. And I keep asking myself and everyone around me why is she still with the abuser who doesn't take care of her and her six children? Many in their myopic reasoning said she's in the marriage because of the children. Some even asked me, if she leaves the husband who will marry her again with those children? Abi na you go marry her? Abeg, is it not better to be a single mother and still have your peace of mind than becoming single-but-married woman who chops beating like jollof rice everyday?
What if she dies now? Who will take care of her six kids? I know of a woman whose husband threatened to kill her if she didn't leave the marriage. Guess what! He did killed her two years ago. She was buried early last year and her killer is still walking free. But she's gone and lost forever!
Apart from being killed. What if you end up killing him out of self-defense? My dear, prison will be your case.
Knowing the kind of corrupt country we are living in, why can't some women borrow some sense and walk away from abusive relationships or marriages. A lot of good, hardworking, sweet and great women have died in domestic abuse. Why can't those who are still lucky to be alive learn from their mistakes? Or are you planning to end like them? You think he will mourn you if you are gone? My dear, if you die, you die go. In fact, you've done him the biggest favour of his life by going forever. Have sense madam-domestic violence-victim. wise-up, it's not a crime, abeg. Don't feel ashamed to grow up.
One hateful thing about this abusers is that, they will so-downplay the seriousness of what they're doing to their victims that those around or outsiders will never take their victims serious. But you wearing the shoes knows exactly where it pains. Why not discipline yourself for the sake of those who needs you.
Some, after the abuse, they will start acting normal and you think it won't repeat again? It will happen continually until you gain the understanding of the mess you're into.
Some abusers will abuse you all round both socially, mentally, spiritually, economically, just name them. They kill your self worth and influence you into inferiority complex/inferior mindset.
Are you in any abusive environment right now? My dear, the police in our country might not help you. I have seen them sending domestic violence-victims away - telling them to go home and settle with their abusive spouse, that the police station is not a place for such - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't make a report, anyways. Try your luck!
Your family members, friends and everyone around you might disappoint you after speaking out. But do you also want to disappoint yourself? My dear RUN! Know your right and RUN. Grow up and RUN. Maybe you running might turn him into a better person. So, Don't be lazy, get up, dust yourself and RUN and in years to come, you won't regret it.
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Post Summary
I am not here to talk about the domestic violence on men. I know it happens but its rare. The last time I witness domestic violence on a man was over seven years ago. Well, I didn't actually see the woman beating the man but I overheard the man screaming:
Unknown man: Pastor Oh! Come O! My wife is beating me again. She's beating me.
At that point, it was funny. How can a man allow a woman to beat him up. And in our world over here, we see those kind of men as weaklings. However, that was the first and last time I witness/heard such. But I can't count the number of times I've witness and heard women crying over the abuses they've gotten and are still getting from their so-called men.
I know there are many reasons why many women end up in domestic violence. I might address that in my tomorrow's article.
During my youth service year in 2014, I visited a friend at Ikot Nsa by Four Miles in Calabar, I stayed with her for two weeks and during my stay there, I witnessed a man brutally beating up his wife - the mother of his three kids - to a point he stripped her naked in front of every one there simply because of N100 meat. Poverty indeed is a bastard! And when narrating the story to my friend, who wasn't around when the incident happened, she told me that wasn't the first time the silly man had embarrassed his wife in the public but I guess that was the last time. She left him immediately after the fight because according to the abused woman, it's a big crime against their custom for a man to strip his wife naked in public. At least, she was lucky to still be alive today.
Well, don't come over here and tell me poor men are the only ones hitting their women. Nah! I have seen mega rich guys bad mouthing their women in public, reducing the worth of their women to zero. I've seen a rich man who used a belt to flog his wife mercilessly that when she forwarded the pictures of her injured body to my mum via Whatsapp, and at the same time was calling and crying on the phone, my sisters and I cried along with her.
Some women ends in hospitals after receiving heavy beatings from their abusers they call husbands or lovers. And many of these women are just afraid to talk or move out. But let me tell you something, if you as a woman is raising in child in a toxic-abusive environment, then know that there's a 95 percent of chance that such child will become an abuser in the future. Don't forget this!
Most men are abusers today because they witness their fathers abusing their mums. And since the society is quiet about it, they grew up to see it as a norm. Bring a man whose father never abused his mum in one way or the other and also bring another whose father endlessly abused the mum, lock them up with their women in a room, you'll see a big difference.
Why writing this?
This morning what woke me up from my beautiful sleep was the shout of a women been beaten by her husband. Gosh! This is a man that doesn't bring money for food, he doesn't pay the children's school fees, house rent. In fact, he ain't loyal in bills but can womaniser in Africa. And at the end of the day, he beats up his wife at every slightest provocation. And I keep asking myself and everyone around me why is she still with the abuser who doesn't take care of her and her six children? Many in their myopic reasoning said she's in the marriage because of the children. Some even asked me, if she leaves the husband who will marry her again with those children? Abi na you go marry her? Abeg, is it not better to be a single mother and still have your peace of mind than becoming single-but-married woman who chops beating like jollof rice everyday?
What if she dies now? Who will take care of her six kids? I know of a woman whose husband threatened to kill her if she didn't leave the marriage. Guess what! He did killed her two years ago. She was buried early last year and her killer is still walking free. But she's gone and lost forever!
Apart from being killed. What if you end up killing him out of self-defense? My dear, prison will be your case.
Knowing the kind of corrupt country we are living in, why can't some women borrow some sense and walk away from abusive relationships or marriages. A lot of good, hardworking, sweet and great women have died in domestic abuse. Why can't those who are still lucky to be alive learn from their mistakes? Or are you planning to end like them? You think he will mourn you if you are gone? My dear, if you die, you die go. In fact, you've done him the biggest favour of his life by going forever. Have sense madam-domestic violence-victim. wise-up, it's not a crime, abeg. Don't feel ashamed to grow up.
One hateful thing about this abusers is that, they will so-downplay the seriousness of what they're doing to their victims that those around or outsiders will never take their victims serious. But you wearing the shoes knows exactly where it pains. Why not discipline yourself for the sake of those who needs you.
Some, after the abuse, they will start acting normal and you think it won't repeat again? It will happen continually until you gain the understanding of the mess you're into.
Some abusers will abuse you all round both socially, mentally, spiritually, economically, just name them. They kill your self worth and influence you into inferiority complex/inferior mindset.
Are you in any abusive environment right now? My dear, the police in our country might not help you. I have seen them sending domestic violence-victims away - telling them to go home and settle with their abusive spouse, that the police station is not a place for such - but that doesn't mean you shouldn't make a report, anyways. Try your luck!
Your family members, friends and everyone around you might disappoint you after speaking out. But do you also want to disappoint yourself? My dear RUN! Know your right and RUN. Grow up and RUN. Maybe you running might turn him into a better person. So, Don't be lazy, get up, dust yourself and RUN and in years to come, you won't regret it.
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CONTENT REMOVAL
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| Article Name | SAY 'NO' TO DOMESTIC ABUSE! |
| Description |
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| Author Name | Head Admin |
| Published On | 7/21/2018 |
| Post Category |
QueensTales
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